Week: A New Year and a New Path

This week is another posting intermission week, but instead of just wishing you a Happy New Year, I also want to talk about some New Year’s traditions I have.

My New Year Traditions

Blogging in the New Year
Letters to Myself
A Trip to the Nurse
A New Tradition
A New Path

Blogging in the New Year

For a few years in a row I used to stay up until the stroke of midnight on New Year’s Eve and write about my hopes and dreams for the coming year, or sometimes write a review of what I had already achieved.

Some of these posts are on the /caryl subdirectory on my official website, and since I don’t have a current security certificate for the site (one of my many admin jobs that I’ve been struggling to get to), they probably won’t show up properly for you. But these are all the new year themed posts I could find around and about.

These entries range between wistful longing for something to happen but absolutely no plans to make it happen, elaborate plans I have absolutely no hope of completing and perhaps only succeeded with in a small way, or documentation of things I’d actually managed to do.

I don’t seem to be able to keep things consistent. I’m yet to hit on any particular routine or set of aims that works for me. There’s a really good reason for this, and I’ll be covering it in my upcoming Week #3 and Week #4 entries. I didn’t realise the extent to which I’ve been affected by this reason, and I’m filled with both intense frustration, and a sense of resignation or relief, as a result. I suppose my aim for this year is to work out what I’m going to do with it all.

Letters to Myself

For the last few years I’ve been writing a letter to myself for me to open on New Year’s Eve.

At the start of the year I tried to set three goals for myself. I did none of them except for the last one which was to do some blogging! And that was something I only just picked up towards the end of this year.

However, I did rather a lot of new and different things for my music this year. I found so many sources of incredible inspiration and deep joy and contentment. I’m not sure how I’ll transmute all this into music, but I have all these wonderful memories stored up in myself, and perhaps once I hit my stride again, they’ll all come out on the page or in the DAW.

For the first time I’m going to write a ‘counter-letter’ to myself where I explain what actually happened in the year, what I’ve learned about myself, and how it all plays into the larger narrative of life.

Then of course, I’ll have to write a new one to open at the end of 2024!

A Trip to the Nurse

Because of the medication I am on, I’m expected to attend a check-up at my doctor’s surgery where I have my blood pressure, weight, and bloods taken.

I haven’t been sent for yet, but I’m pretty certain it’ll be in the next week or so.

And then, invariably, I’m told my cholesterol is high. So, each year since the first time I was told about it, I warn them in advance: it’s gonna come back high. Here’s what I’ve done to change my diet. Here’s how I exercise. I don’t smoke. I have about 2 units of alcohol a month. Are you actually going to do something about it this time, or is it less serious than you’re making out?

At this stage I’m like, it can’t be both. It can’t be so low key that you’ve done nothing for 5 years, because you warn me about it every year, and yet nothing is being done. I’m not exactly worried about it, but this lack of action around something that could cause me real problems in the future has to stop.

This year I’ll be able to tell them I’ve been lifting three times a week consistently for more than a year, and I’ve taken an average of 7,000 steps a day in 2023 (one day racking up a massive 25,000 steps when I was out with the bf one day!).

Of course, higher cholesterol is one of the side effects of my meds. I just hope any intervention they do eventually make doesn’t clash with them. I’ll keep you posted on that…

Regardless, this year I shall be kicking up a fuss. I also want some real answers about the condition that I’m being medicated for in the first place since I haven’t spoken to a specialist about it for about 5 years, and back then I didn’t have the ability to ask the right questions or understand the answers. I’m thinking about my future, and I’m determined to get the information I need to make it a good one.

A New Tradition

This year I made a special clip reel featuring a little bit of footage for each week of the year.

Today I downloaded the Instagram app again specifically so I could share it. I also sent some messages to my music buddies to show them the video and wish them a happy new year. The app has now been deleted once more and my hiatus resumes! But it was great to finally complete that little project and see what a fantastic year I’ve had with my favourite people.

I think I’d like to do this again in 2024. It wasn’t too much effort and gave me the opportunity to think each week about the things I’d done and which bits of video were the most representative of what was important to me in that moment. Would highly recommend you try this out.

Here are all 52 stills from each of my clips:

A New Path

I’m not doing big plans, big longing, or big lists this year.

I was considering writing all my musical exploits and achievements here, but I think I’d like to keep that to myself this year. I’ll write all about them in my ‘counter-letter’ to myself and take some time to really absorb it and use the momentum to push me to positive actions in the coming year.

Today spells the death of all my ‘grand plans’ and big project ideas that I want to complete neatly and perfectly month by month. Things are never going to be perfect or consistent with me, and for the first time I’m happy to let all that go in favour of prioritising life.

I’m just not like other musicians. My brain can’t/doesn’t work that way, and will continue to cause me problems for the rest of my life. However, that doesn’t mean I’m going to stop making music. I’m just stopping with any expectation that has been placed on me by others. I please myself now, and I take care of my health as my first priority.

I have absolutely no idea what it’s going to look like.

But isn’t that kind of exciting?

Love always,

Caryl